#14: i hate my phone

 It's Sunday and I am sitting on my bed. A minute ago, I was scrolling again. This week was kind of a breakthrough - last week on Saturday, I started ranting about how much I hate my phone and wasting my time on it to my friend and decided to just start doing something about it. In this little life I call mine, I have watched so many self help Youtube videos, seen so many ads for apps and gadgets to help you reduce your screen time, thought of so many ideas for systems to stop doomscrolling all day, but what I've found is that all these things would never be able to teach me discipline and being strict with myself to get out there and do something, anything but going on my phone. I am far from this utopian and probably unrealistic goal, I'll be honest. In the beginning, it was actually quite easy to put my phone down and just do the things I'd been wanting to do. But a few days in, I noticed that the times I was most likely to pick up my phone were whenever I didn't have the energy or desire to do anything. It was extremely hard for me not to do anything. The truth is, when you put down your phone, you notice very quickly how much time you actually have on your hands. In the beginning, you want to use it all to be productive and creative and start all the projects and do all the chores and play with the cats all of a sudden. But always doing something is not how you're supposed to live, and my body quickly got tired of it. Next week, my goal will be to find ways to relax without having to be productive as any part of it, something I enjoy more than scrolling, something I need no capacity, attention span or much energy for (let me know if you have ideas!). 

On Sunday a week ago, I picked up my phone for the first time of the day at 18h or so and I had such an amazing day. I really want to find more ways to make days like this more easy to happen all by themselves. I took pictures on my camera around my part of town for a photo exhibition at my work and got some schoolwork done, cooked for myself, listened to records.. 

one of my fave pics from Sunday!

I also started refurbishing my old iPod and not taking my phone to school, I only really want to use it for music anyway so there is no point in taking it if I can listen to my music on there. It's been a fun process to think of all the albums that are important to me, because priorities go first - I have to manually download every single song, after all. 

This week, I had my last test of the semester, I am finally free!!! For a while, at least. My last week at my internship starts tomorrow, I am so sad to leave, these people have been so great for me and I wouldn't do anything differently if I could do it all over again. I will miss this place, but I'm also excited to start my school internship, working in my school's workshops. After that, one more week of school, and then we get a week of holidays! I really want to try and start more creative projects, or work on something big, I guess I'll have to brainstorm soon. 

There has been a lot of stuff going on school-wise, but now that I have time, I think I can relax a little, and then hopefully get creating again! We shall see, and I shall tell you about it next week X)

Have a nice start to your week and thank you for your time!!

Lots of love

x juno